Customer Relationship Management

The Four Agreements

Tonight I was chatting with friend, Jules. Jules passed on some wisdom from the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz & Don Jose Luis Ruiz.

As with most advice, it’s pretty basic, but difficult to put into practice. Our daily lives seems to push away our ability to keep things like this top of mind. Perhaps since it’s only four, we can achieve it, though!

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Fantastic advice. I think I’ve got #1 down, #4 almost there… #2 I’m okay at, since I’m confident in myself. #3 needs some work! Thanks to Jules for passing this on! I have some work to do.

9 Comments

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    Doug. Sounds like an interesting book. Have your read it through? Worth the price of admission or did you summarize the jewels from it here in your post?

    Definitely four attributes to strive toward. And, then directly relate to blogging.

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      I have read this book several times and it was life changing the first time, life affirming every other time. While the principles are simple, to actually put into practice (deeply) in our personal and professional lives takes discipline and a continued desire towards self-improvement. Now, while I am certainly more concerned with the personal side and this blog of Doug’s addresses the more professional/technical side of life, our circle of influence is as great as we want it to be. The four agreements are expanded upon within the book and it explains a much deeper meaning to each agreement.

      The beginning of the book drags a bit, but once it gets into the “meat” of it, I was transfixed…and then transformed. If everyone could apply these principles, we would change the world.

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      It’s definitely on my short list for books to read, Dawud! I never thought about blogging (duh!), but you’re absolutely right – it’s great advice for bloggers!

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      It is true that this is very hard. It might help to think of it this way. No one can make you be anything that you aren’t. So, if you call me names or tell me something bad about my self, it really should have no bearing on how I look at myself – IF I am secure in my person. Therein lies the problem. We allow other’s perception of us to affect the way we perceive ourselves, rather than just accepting ourselves or changing the things we don’t like simply b/c we want to. What you believe usually comes to fruition. Think positive things about yourself and you will like yourself; think negative things and you will not like yourself.

      Yes, I have been accused of being Pollyanna’ish……but it is a guiding factor in my life and one that is serving me well, especially today. 🙂

      • 7

        great advice jule 🙂

        thanks a lot !

        Saying bad things on internet is relatively easy. Just type in anything you want in the comments box …..

        People don’t even think about what effect it might have on the blogger …. 🙁

        “Think positive things about yourself and you will like yourself; think negative things and you will not like yourself.”

        I am definately going to follow your advice 🙂

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    I can’t recommend this book enough – it’s an easy read, and worth reading again from time to time to get your mind back on straight. This book was given to me several years ago when I was going through a “rough patch” and it helped me pick myself back up. #2 Don’t Take Anything Personally has had the greatest effect on me by helping my sense of self.

    Good recommendation, Doug!

    Marty Bird
    Wild Birds Unlimited
    http://www.wbu.com

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    Actually if you are violating agreement #2 or #3 you are also not being Impeccable With Your Word (agreement #1).

    If you are taking something personally then you are making an expression that goes against your self emotionally. This is not being impeccable. If you are making (creating in your mind ) assumptions that lead to disharmony then you are not being impeccable either.

    The impeccable expression of your word also requires that you make assumptions impeccably, and that you don’t make expressions that cause you to take things personally.

    At first read it appears that Being Impeccable is easier than the others. When you study the finer points you find out that living agreements #2,3, and 4 lead you to achieve Impeccability.

    More detail about this at http://pathwaytohappiness.com/happiness/2007/01/19/be-impeccable-with-your-word/

    Good luck,

    Gary

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