For many years, I chased the algorithms and pushed to grow my following through social media. It was exhausting, and I started becoming someone online who didn’t translate into my in-person image. I moved from a proponent and fanatic of social media sharing to pulling back on all the platforms. And I’ve even begun counseling colleagues to do the same.
It’s not that I don’t believe social media can’t be a positive medium for engagement and community building… it can. But more often than not, the motivation for being there doesn’t result in any financial or emotional benefit. I recently read this article on de-influencers and believe I’m sliding into that role.
Much of my transition has been dealing with the different guilt that social media obsession tends to drive:
- Algorithm Manipulation Guilt: Strategically crafting content to appease platform algorithms, such as clickbait or sensationalism, can make influencers feel deceitful and ethically compromised. It’s tempting to modify your usage online to coincide with algorithms… like pushing outrage and controversy to drive engagement. But is that good for society?
- Body Image Guilt: Sharing idealized or heavily edited images can contribute to societal beauty standards, causing guilt about perpetuating unrealistic expectations for their audience. I’ve lost a ton of weight and gained some back after a recent injury. I feel conflicted about celebrating the wins, but not this recent setback.
- De-Influencing Guilt: Advising followers against certain products or consumer behaviors can create a paradox where influencers feel guilty about promoting minimalism while still engaging in self-promotion.
- Mental Health Guilt: Burnout or mental health struggles caused by the demands of influencing can lead to guilt, particularly when influencers feel pressure to maintain an appearance of perpetual positivity. I see family and friends struggling offline who are keeping a fairy tale life alive online, and it’s distressing. If I wasn’t a positive, optimistic individual, watching everyone win all the time could make me think I’m a loser.
- Overuse Guilt: Influencers often feel compelled to maintain a constant online presence, which leads to excessive time spent on social media. This over-engagement can result in negative emotions and for neglecting other aspects of life. I have a wife and grandchildren now. Embarrassingly, at times, they’ve even taken my phone away. Now, I proactively set my phone to do not disturb to remove the temptation of escaping online.
- Privacy Invasion Guilt: Sharing personal details to engage audiences can lead to guilt over compromising their or their family’s privacy, creating a tension between transparency and protection. People I care about have shared some hurtful things about me online. While I have tough skin, I’m alarmed at what this has done to their reputation. If you’re upset or angry, call a good friend… don’t share it online.
- Selling Out Guilt: Monetizing their platforms through brand partnerships can make influencers feel inauthentic, especially when promoting products that don’t align with their values, creating a conflict between authenticity and financial necessity. Look, we all have to pay the bills. But I see a lot of influencers who are pushing sales for some questionable products or services.
- Under-Engagement Guilt: Taking breaks or posting less frequently can induce guilt over neglecting followers or potentially losing engagement, leading to stress about maintaining relevance. I used to feel this until I went cold turkey altogether. There’s quite a relief in abandoning your virtual (and non-existent) responsibilities to your followers. I’d encourage you to do it… and be transparent about it.
To address these challenges, I’ve learned the importance of prioritizing self-awareness, setting clear boundaries, and fostering more authentic interactions online. Taking these steps not only helps me protect my mental health but also contributes to creating a healthier and more genuine digital space for my audience.
What do you think… am I now a de-influencer? <sarcasm>If you follow me, let me know.</sarcasm>
