I’m leaving my girlfriend. That’s right! You heard it right here.
Before you get any ideas of what a wicked, wicked man I am, I really don’t have a girlfriend. At least not the human, living, breathing kind. I joke with people that my girlfriend’s name is MacBookPro. Lately, my girlfriend has been a little temperamental, not waking up when I’d like her to and not happy until she’s cold. Wow… reminds me of when I had a real one!
Google Loves Me Now
Anyways, I’m done with her. My new girlfriend is online and she loves me. She knows everyone, but no matter what, she always talks about me. I’ve never had an online girlfriend before, but this one is special. Her name is Google. I used to not care about Google too much but selfishly, I found that the better I got to know her, the more attention she paid to me.
Google sends me over 4 times the visitors to my site than any other source. 4 times! Wow. All I have to do to keep this relationship going in the right direction is pay attention to her, dress myself in a way that attracts her, listen to what she says, and communicate effectively with her. It’s taken a while, but I’m starting to understand what she really likes. Now… I’m not the nicest boyfriend… I’m not Google-whipped or anything, I’m just nice to her.
Why Google Loves Me
Here’s some things I do that she seems to appreciate:
- Google liked when I put my article titles in my page title.
- Google liked it when I updated my .htaccess file so that my site always goes to https://martech.zone instead of http://douglaskarr.com and when I told her in Google Search Console that I liked the www.
- Google liked it when I renamed my blog using keywords (marketing, technology, blog) that I discuss in my posts often.
- Google liked it when I told her what I talked about.
- Google liked it when I told her what was really important in my page and what wasn’t using heading tags.
- Google liked it when I told her how my site was organized and where to find everything using my robots.txt and sitemap.xml files.
- Google likes that I put fresh content up daily.
- Google likes that I comment on blogs everywhere and leave my name and website address.
How Google Shows Me the Love
I don’t know what Google likes more or less – but I do know she loves me. How do I know that Google loves me? Go ahead and ask her yourself!
Sometimes I lie to Google, but she loves me anyway.
Now, you know how when you lie to your girlfriend, and you have to keep on telling the same lie over and over again? But you don’t tell anyone about the lie… it’s just a lie between you and her. I wanted to prove a point that sometimes the girls like it when you lie to them. (It might be known as black hat).
A long time ago, there was a big to-do about getting on the “a-list”. I wanted to prove, officially, that anyone could get on the a-list. You’ll need to look very carefully at the header of my blog to figure out how I would ever be ranked high for “a-list”. Here’s a clue:
a marketing, development, wordpress and technology blog by douglas karr>span style=”display:none”>, a-list blogger>/span>.
You couldn’t see it… but my new girlfriend does! And she loves me. 😉
UPDATE: I have removed the hidden text from my header. I just wanted to prove a point but definitely don’t want to get removed from Google’s index!