A couple of years ago, I stopped looking for fans and followers. I don’t mean to say I didn’t want to continue gaining a following. I mean that I stopped looking. I stopped being politically correct online. I stopped avoiding conflict. I stopped holding back when I had a strong opinion. I started being true to my beliefs and focusing on providing value to my network.
This didn’t just happen with my social media audience, it happened with my business as well. Friends, clients, partners… I walked away from many people. I lost some friendships, many fans, and a lot of followers – forever. And it continues. The other night, I was told that I wasn’t being civil on Facebook, which was not cool. I let the person know they could stop following me anytime.
The truth is, I don’t want to act like someone I’m not to try and deceive people into following me. I also don’t follow others I watch to appease their followers. They’re Vanilla… and I like Rocky Road.
People confuse respect and authority with likeability and coolness. I don’t want to put effort into being likable, I want to be passionate and honest. In the workplace, I don’t want to surround myself with people who say yes… I respect people much more when they quit dancing around and tell me point-blank what I need to do. If you want me to chase you out the door, be passive-aggressive or disloyal. There are no second chances.
When I think about the people I respect online, there’s something in common with them. Here are just a few off the top of my head:
- Seth Godin – nothing stops Seth from stating his opinion. I saw him deal with an overzealous fan once, and he drew a line in the sand and never allowed it to be passed.
- Guy Kawasaki – about six years ago, I made a smart-ass comment about Guy’s team of folks tweeting for him. He shot back immediately and made it clear who was behind the keyboard.
- Gary Vaynerchuk – transparent, unapologetic, and in-your-face – Gary always tells his audience what they need to hear.
- Jason Falls – There’s no stopping Jason. Period.
- Nichole Kelly – this woman is the tops… transparent, funny as hell, and – again – never holds back.
- Chris Abraham – I’m pretty sure that Chris and I have the same reaction whenever we see a political post written by the other. He never backs down, and he’s sincere and passionate.
I’m unsure if any of these folks like me (I know some of them despise my politics). But it doesn’t matter because I respect their authority. I know that when I need an honest answer, these are a few of the folks who would never blow smoke. They’re not going to mince words… they’re going to say it.
Over the last few years, I’ve learned that a happy customer does not always stick around. A customer that’s getting great results, though, always sticks around. My job isn’t to be the client’s friend; it’s to do my job. That sometimes requires me to give them crap when poor decisions are made. Given the choice of demanding respect and ensuring results OR having my client’s business hurt and having them fire us – I’ll always give them the bad news.
Has it hurt me on social media? It depends on what you mean by hurt. If your measurement of success is fan and follower accounts – then yes. I don’t measure success this way, though. I measure it by the number of companies we’ve helped, the number of recommendations we receive via word of mouth, the number of people that step up to thank me after a speech, the number of thank-you cards hanging on our wall at work (we have everyone!) and the number of people that have stuck with me over the years.
Respect and authority don’t require agreement or likeability. I need great clients, employees, readers, and more friends, fans, and followers for a lifetime.
Be true to your audience. That’s the only way to be true to yourself.
PS: If you’re wondering who I don’t respect online… the list is quite long. Currently, the top of my list is Matt Cutts. It’s nothing personal… I can’t stand his politically correct, carefully measured, scripted responses to overly general questions. I’ve asked Matt several pointed questions over the years, but my Klout score isn’t high enough for him ever to respond. I consistently see him chatting with the who’s who. Perhaps it’s something I said… I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Add anyone who continues to take photos of themselves to share all day or talks about themselves in the third person. If they share their own quote, I really want to stab them in the throat—just saying.
